Saturday, 16 June 2018


Warning - This is a long one, please stay with me?!

So by the time you're reading this, we would be just out of our first trimester, and sunning it up in Mykonos, our last holiday abroad, just the two of us. I wanted to write about each trimester, and give short weekly overviews to compare our little babe to sizeable sweets (because sweet sizes are more relatable than fruit & veg!) As well as that, I wanted to give little updates as to what was new week to week! I gathered the information from numerous forums and apps!

Speaking of forums - my worst nightmare! I wish someone had put a block on me Googling symptoms, or lack of should I say. If you could only see my search history, you'd think I was a complete nutter! For me, a first time Mum, my first pregnancy, I had NO idea what to expect, being lonely in this (I'll touch on that in a minute) you have no idea, and I ended up convincing myself  that maybe I wasn't even pregnant at all! The only real indicator I had, was the apps I had downloaded and the two strategically placed positive pregnancy tests, in my underwear draw, for that daily reminder.

Symptoms, hmm... Friday the 13th, was the only day I had any "typical" pregnancy symptoms. Luckily, I had booked the day off anyway, because Jesus Christ, I've never felt so peculiar! Head rushes, dizziness, blurred vision, nipples that could've poked your eye out, ringing sounds in my ears, a lot of toilet trips, nausea, exhaustion and what I can only describe as the taste of having sucked on a 2 pence coin! Other than that, I had no sickness and nothing to really make me feel pregnant. I did have awful insomnia (I can't say that word without singing Rihanna, disturbia?!) but I put that down to frequent toilet trips during the night, ever developing hormones and being a general anxiety stricken mess! The only other thing is AWFUL bloating! I looked pregnant so early on... I've always had problems with bloating but seriously, it was on verge painful!

Figuring out what to eat can be daunting at first "Can I eat halloumi cheese at Nandos tonight, I'm 6 weeks pregnant?" was my most pressing Google search. The general jist is, no raw fish, meat or eggs. Pasturised goods only and no deli style meats (bye pancetta and pepperoni, I'll be seeing you in December!). Anything I was unsure of, I'd always just Google.

The worst feeling for me during this trimester was, loneliness. We didn't want to tell anyone we were expecting until the 12 weeks has passed. Reason being, I just didn't feel safe in doing so, I didn't want to raise any expectations or hopes for family and friends to potentially destroy them if we weren't in for good news. I ended up trying to avoid everyone for three months, which was near impossible and I'd cry so much worrying what my friends thought! I can't lie for the life of me and with looking like crap and being so exhausted, I just knew I'd be found out and therefor could only avoid them.

I didn't want to be as involved on social media. I use social media so openly, with putting my life on there. I felt I couldn't be myself because my world had kind of gone into slow motion. I also kept seeing sad stories around pregnancy and miscarriage and I didn't want those thoughts entering my mind more than they already were.

Events? Oh my life... I'm going to become boring for future reference, because if I'm the one turning up to an event and not shotting a Sambuca straight away, followed by numerous porn star martinins, they'd know something was up. My friends aren't silly. "Pretend you're on antibiotics" They know that wouldn't stop me. I had to be selfish and protect myself here. We really didn't want anyone knowing so I just didn't want to be put in a position where I'd have to quickly lie and think on the spot, it was easier for me to cancel, no matter how guilty and crap I felt about it. There were so many times I had to cancel on different things, even just meeting up with a friend or going for a family dinner, it really took a toll on me.

Are you still here? I hope so... on to the weekly updates of our littlest Willis (how the hell is Gibson even going to cope not being the cutest Willis?!)

Week 5 - Baby Willis is the size of an Icecream Sprinkle
I only had one day during this week where this pregnancy totally wiped the floor with me, as mentioned above, on Friday the 13th. Coincidence? I was horizontal for the following two days, I watched an entire season of Scandal, it was great!

"The placenta has started to develop and there are three distincitve layers of cells forming in the embryo. The first layer will be the digestive system, liver and lungs, the second will form the heart and muscles and third will form the nervous system, hair, skin & eyes. Two major things happen this week, firstly the neural tube which is the tube from the brain and spinal cord, form the ectoderm layer. Secondly, a tiny two chambered heart has formed and began beating!"

Week 6 - Baby Willis is the size of a Smartie
Our first GP appointment was this week (19th April) I'd taken two FirstResponse tests since finding out, I saw two very faint lines, and so got a bit freaked out! Luckily, I did a test at the Doctors and she told us it was really positive. We booked our midwife appointment for the 2nd May. I had waves of nausea this week but otherwise felt fine!

"This week Baby W's face is shaped like a tadpole, a bump at one end which will develop into the head and a tail will from the trunk. Baby W is growing a thin layer of skin"

Part two coming soon...

Love, Rey x
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